YOU may have heard of them - but how much bởi vì you really know about sugar daddies và sugar babies?

The controversial age-gap relationship has hit the headlines in recent years, with more and more older men and younger women mutually benefitting. But others have aired their concerns - here's all you need khổng lồ know.

Bạn đang xem: What is a sugar baby and sugar dating?


*

Credit: Getty

What is a sugar daddy?

A sugar daddy is described a generous older man who spends lavishly on his mistress, girlfriend or boyfriend. While not always the case, he's often a businessman, who considers himself too busy for conventional dating - & isn't short of a few bob. According to Seeking Arrangement, the average sugar daddy is 45 years old - & earns a very impressive salary of £176,000. A sugar baby, meanwhile, is normally an attractive younger woman or man who can't afford the luxury lifestyle they like to live. Therefore, they team up lớn reap the benefits of being together. A sugar baby is said to lớn rake in an average of £2.3k a month on average, resulting in annual 'salary' of £27,600. The rise in popularity of sugar babies is particularly prevalent among university students, who turn lớn their 'daddy' khổng lồ pay their fees. But it's not just older men getting in on the action. Similarly, a ''sugar mama' is a rich older woman dating someone younger and paying them an allowance for their company.

 

How does the relationship work?

This obviously changes relationship to relationship, but the couple will usually establish a financial agreement early on - as well as their boundaries. This includes things such as whether or not they're considering a sexual relationship. Some sugar babies ask for a monthly allowance, while other get 'expenses' in the form of glam holidays & shopping sprees. Mabe-Mae, 25, who has been a sugar baby since 2014, shared she got around £15k worth of gifts over the Christmas period, while others have shared Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to lớn have a sugar daddy, as they are lavished in expensive presents. This relationship style has gained a lot of traction over the past few years. Và in London alone Sugar Baby Summits have been held since 2017.

Is a sugar baby the same as an escort?

Sugar babies sometimes get bad press or are the victim of trolls, mainly because of the issue of sex - and how it's tied up in the financial relationship. But the girls insist they're not the same as a prostitute or escort. The key difference is that a sugar daddy relationship is a regular arrangement. While an escort might be hired for the night, or as a one-off to attend a fancy buổi tiệc ngọt or event, a sugar baby would be meeting her 'daddy' several times a month as part of an ongoing plan. Although unconventional, the sugar baby set-up is a relationship of sorts - meaning the women are very different from a điện thoại tư vấn girl, no matter how high-end.

Is a sugar baby relationship safe?

Those behind sugar daddy sites lượt thích Seeking Arrangement, What's Your Price, Sugar Daddie and Rich Meet Beautiful insist it is safe and above board - but how much truth is there in that? Licensed prostitute Alex Page, from Nevada, where brothels are legal, has warned ladies against using "unsafe" sugar baby sites - after being grabbed by the hair và forced to have sex with her date. One concern is that the sugar babies can be asked khổng lồ meet at their daddy's home or a khách sạn room. Others worry that a man, having not only paid for the dates but extra expenses as well, would be more likely to lớn expect sex. So there are definitely some risks involved, and a sugar baby needs khổng lồ be clear on her boundaries before entering into a relationship. If sex is off the cards, make sure you're only meeting in public places - lượt thích a restaurant.

Twitter icon A stylized bird with an open mouth, tweeting. Twitter Linked
In icon The word "in". Linked
In Fliboard icon A stylized letter F. Flipboard Facebook Icon The letter F. Facebook thư điện tử icon An envelope. It indicates the ability to send an email. thư điện tử links icon An image of a chain link. It symobilizes a website links url. Copy links
*

Syda Productions/Shutterstock

As with regular dating, if you dive into the sugaring lifestyle without an idea of what you want, you"re likely lớn be disappointed.

Do you want a cash allowance, and do you have a mix amount in mind? Is it certain bills you want covered? vì you want gifts, shopping, and travel? Having a clear idea of what kind of "sugar," or exchange, you want for the relationship is key.

How about the actual dating part —do you lượt thích dating older men? Because sugar daddies tend lớn be older than the women they date. How much time bởi you want lớn spend with your sugar daddy? và does your current lifestyle give you the freedom to do so?


In my short time as a sugar baby so far, men have paid me $500 a date & bought me designer clothes, $400 dinners, và stays at 5-star hotels I could never afford on my own


*

Robert Kneschke / Shutterstock

In the six months since I became a sugar baby, I"ve started relationships with men who pay me $500 a date và have purchased me shoes and outfits from designers I could never afford on my own. I dined at restaurants where the bill was $400, và we"d still leave hungry. I spent weekends tucked away in five-star hotels, lazily ordering room service with cringeworthy markups.

While I enjoy expensive dinners and staying in fancy hotels, ultimately I was searching for a friendly relationship that provides a cash allowance. Some men don"t wish khổng lồ provide an allowance, & I avoid meeting & dating those men, often called "experience daddies."


*

AP Photo/Keith Srakocic

If you"re considering sugar dating solely for the money, it will be much more stressful, since it"ll become a second job.

Sugar dating amplifies the faults of regular, or "vanilla," dating. You may receive messages from, go on first dates with, & be ghosted by far more men than in vanilla dating. Và it"s a bad idea khổng lồ depend on sugar as a primary source of income, because there"s never really any guarantee of stability.

Additionally, financial desperation makes you vulnerable lớn malicious men who have no intentions to provide sugar, or it might influence you to date men you otherwise wouldn"t consider having a relationship with.


Anonymity is key for sugar babies & sugar daddies — I created an alter ego just for my online sugaring presence


*

Vivek Prakash/Reuters

It"s common practice to adopt a sugar identity separate from your real-life identity. My online profile uses a generic name, & I vì not disclose my real identity — even after I meet my sugar daddy in person, in some cases.

I"m glad I vị that, since every sugar daddy I"ve met has similarly guarded his identity. I suggest creating an alter ego for anyone considering trying any sort of mạng internet fringe dating, especially sugaring.

Along the same lines, I signed up for a few anonymous messaging apps, as well as a kém chất lượng number. Popular messaging apps for "moving the conversation off the website" include Whats
App, Kik, Snapchat, We
Chat, & Signal, but a phone number is often the preferred method. I suggest getting a Google Voice number attached to an anonymous email account.


Seeking
Arrangement user Simone Toon Marcus Hessenberg/Barcroft
Images/Barcroft truyền thông media via Getty Images

Getting started with a dating profile as a sugar baby is pretty simple. I described my personality and wrote a few charming epithets that I thought might be appealing khổng lồ the kind of man I"d like to spend time with.

The key thing is honesty, both in your self-descriptions và your pictures. While face-altering filters exist & can help mask your identity, apparently it"s a turnoff for men. (And I"ve had men straight-up message me, "Thank goodness you don"t have a dog-filter picture!")

I think the most common misconception about becoming a sugar baby is that sugar daddies are looking to lớn date only 18-year-old blond models. This is largely untrue — being traditionally attractive certainly helps, but a sugar baby can look like any woman of just about any age. I don"t get discouraged, and I try khổng lồ attract only men who I think will find me attractive. Being deceptive with appearances will only hurt you later.

The secrecy of the sugaring lifestyle means I have khổng lồ be careful about the pictures I use on my dating profiles. Many sugar daddies will run a reverse-image search of sugar babies" profile pictures in an attempt to lớn avoid scammers who are using photos from models & influencers.

To protect my identity, I make sure not khổng lồ use photos that exist anywhere on my social-media accounts. I have a strict "no cross-contamination" rule when it comes to lớn photos. Also, I make sure I know which photos are viewable to the public & which are available by request only. I"ll often kiểm tra back và remove viewing privileges from certain men if the conversation didn"t lead any further.


Richard Levine/Corbis via Getty Images

After dipping my toes in the sugaring community, I began to adopt the language used by sugar babies and sugar daddies in the online world.

Sugar babies & sugar daddies are often referred khổng lồ as SBs và SDs — partly for brevity"s sake và partly because some people are weirded out by saying "baby" & "daddy."

There"s the "meet and greet," or M&G — the sugaring community"s term for a first date. Usually, money doesn"t change hands here, though it"s not unusual for the sugar baby lớn receive a small gift. Some of the things I"ve received on my first dates include stuffed animals, books, and $300 cash.

Xem thêm: Bi hài chuyện “phượt thủ” chém gió ” tiếng nghệ, bi hài chuyện “phượt thủ” chém gió

Some relationships are PPM, or "pay per meet" — in those arrangements, the sugar daddy gives the sugar baby a specified amount per date. In another type of relationship, sugar daddies give an "allowance" on a phối schedule, lượt thích monthly or biweekly, either in cash or through a payment app like Venmo. Many relationships start out PPM, as it"s less risky for the sugar daddy than setting up an allowance right away.

"Experience daddies" are the ones who don"t pay sugar babies in money — just gifts lượt thích fine dining, hotel stays, & glamorous vacations. A "Splenda daddy" is a sugar daddy with a cheaper budget. And a "salt daddy" is just a jerk, especially if they"re faking generosity just to get into your pants.

And though the term"s a bit crass, sugar babies have to lớn be wary of what the community calls a "pump and dump" — the common occurrence of a false sugar daddy not providing any allowance or PPM, getting intimate with a sugar baby, và ghosting. Khổng lồ avoid falling victim khổng lồ one of these, you should never initiate any intimacy with a sugar daddy unless you"ve already received your sugar.


anh hùng Images / Getty Images

To get what I was looking for out of a sugar relationship, I had lớn become comfortable bringing it up with men.

There are plenty of men on the site trying khổng lồ get laid free, so I learned lớn not assume they"d provide any financial compensation on their own.

I would bring up the subject before the meet-and-greet. When I first began meeting men off the site, I was pretty timid about even mentioning an allowance — và regrettably realized they had no intention of sugaring me.

Some people would say on their profiles that they "don"t want anything transactional," usually meaning they don"t want lớn pay for sex or dating — in fact, the word "transactional" in a profile is pretty much a red flag that sugar babies avoid at all costs.


Pavel Yavnik/Shutterstock

Though there are no age limits for sugar babies and sugar daddies, it"s common for a sugar daddy lớn be significantly older than the sugar baby.

And in many cases, the sugar daddy is married.

Having an extramarital sugar baby requires some màn chơi of discretion. Being recognized in public could cause either of you personal or professional distress, not lớn mention it could lower your sugaring prospects.

Personally, I didn"t have a problem dating sugar daddies who were married. After all, they were the ones who contacted me — & if they are willing khổng lồ go through the effort of messaging me và agreeing on an arrangement, they"d be willing to vì chưng it for someone else.

Related: 8 things I wish I knew before I got divorced


Shutterstock

It"s important lớn be on the same page about how much of a time commitment you want in your sugaring relationship.

Some sugar daddies want khổng lồ meet several times a week, while others prefer once a month.

I find myself liking the attention of men who enjoy hearing from me throughout the week but don"t need my attention all day, every day. I certainly can enjoy the company of an older man & don"t have qualms about being seen in public with a sugar daddy. It"s a decision every person needs khổng lồ make for themselves.


There are a ton of safety concerns I have to keep in mind as a sugar baby — as well as scams that nhái sugar daddies try to run


William Iven/Unsplash

On đứng top of setting up a Google Voice number, there are several other safety precautions I had to take as I got deeper into the sugaring lifestyle.

For one, it"s always good to let people know where you are when you"re meeting strangers from the internet. I tell all my dates that I have a friend I need to check in with on first dates, & I have never had a negative response to lớn this. Everyone agrees — safety first.

I also was very careful when accepting Uber rides or Venmo transactions early on in a relationship. Giving away your address or your regular Venmo handle is giving away free information. In an age where our phone apps hold so much personal information, being in control of the flow of your personal information is vital.

When I first made my profile, I got an initial flood of messages from men. "How did they even find me?" I wondered. The answer is that scammers prey on new accounts. I learned to hold the excitement for a bit & I got comfortable recognizing & weeding out the scammy, copy-paste introductions.

Additionally, I quickly realized that anyone who asks you for your bank information to send you money before you"ve met is a scammer. A common scam involves them sending a check or Money
Gram in excess of your allowance & asking you to lớn purchase a gift card with the excess. This scam works on naive sugar babies who think they"ve received a large gift, when in reality they"ve cashed in on money that their ngân hàng will eventually find is fake, while the scammer walks away with a miễn phí gift card.

Even after meeting, there are plenty of better methods khổng lồ send you your allowance. No one needs your personal information lớn wire to lớn your ngân hàng as if it"s the 1990s. As the eternal truth stands — cash is king.


Read next


Features Sugar babies Sugar Daddy
More...
Close icon Two crossed lines that khung an "X". It indicates a way to lớn close an interaction, or dismiss a notification.